协商式亲密关系:独生子女父母对家庭关系和孝道的期待

协商式亲密关系:独生子女父母对家庭关系和孝道的期待
【内容提要】近年来在我国城市中,许多爸爸妈妈为独生子女出资购房。舆论及学者将此称为啃老,忧虑家庭联络名利化、孝道式微。本文对此持不同看法。经过2010~2011年对广州22个家庭作深度访谈后发现,爸爸妈妈们不以为自己是被啃的受害者;相反,他们是购房的自动发起者或活跃参与者。文章以亲密联络和个别化为理论视角,提醒爸爸妈妈活跃购房的动机,并剖析当代我国代际联络。首要,爸爸妈妈们是为了与成年子女树立洽谈式的亲密联络。这种联络触及金钱、爱情和团体决议计划三种要素,与西方着重倾吐和表达的朴实联络不同。我国事例不只扩展西方主义对亲密联络的界说,也从头了解以往研讨中,我国家庭经济活动与爱情交流二元敌对的联络。其次,这反映了在我国个别化进程中,这一代爸爸妈妈既取得自在,又感知到危险。他们活跃构建新的家庭联络,是一种从头嵌入社会的尽力。【关键词】家庭亲密联络 金钱与爱情 孝道 独生子女爸爸妈妈Abstract: Given a recent widespread social phenomenon that the Chinese adult only-children received a substantial amount of money from their parents for buying a flat in the prosperous cities, popular terms like ken lao or bei ken are circulated to describe worries among the public and researchers about family changes and the erosion of filial piety. The authors propose a different view. Based on the research project that involves in-depth interviews with 22 families in Guangzhou, this article draws upon interviews with 14 parents who bought or wanted to buy a flat for their children. It shows that the interviewed parents didn’t consider themselves being exploited by their children. In contrast, these parents actively invested and enthusiastically participated in housing consumption for their children, and this challenges the dominating but undifferentiated image of this group victimized by Chinese modernization. This article examines the motivations of this group of middle-aged parents and analyzes family intergenerational relationships in modern China from an intimacy and individualization perspective. Firstly, it argues that the ideal family relationship these parents pursue is a negotiative intimate relationship. It integrates three intersectional elements, i.e. collective decision-making, monetary transfers and emotional communication. The Chinese case challenges the Western ethnocentric assumption that intimacy is practiced through self-disclosure and verbal expression. It also criticizes the dichotomy and division between emotions and money widely found in the existing literature on Chinese family relationship. Secondly, the ways that these parents practice intimacy in housing consumption illustrates their great efforts to reintegrate themselves with society after they were untied from the collective institutions in the socialist period.Keywords:family intimate relationship, money and emotions, filial piety, parents of adult only-children一、导语近年来,越来越多的爸爸妈妈为他们的成年独生子女在城市中购买住宅(Li & Zheng, 2007; Yan, 2011a; Li, 2008;马春华等,2011),家庭内部的资源如金钱等,从本来的向上活动逐步改变为向下活动 (沈奕斐, 2010; 康岚, 2009),盛行的说法是年青人在啃老或许爸爸妈妈们在被啃。怎样了解这种现象出现的原因,以及点评对家庭代际联络的含义?相关的研讨文献在两个方面出现了不合与争辩。(一)现代化进程的我国爸爸妈妈:单一而极点化的受害者形象第一个方面触及家庭联络与孝道的忧虑,首要不合在于,成年子女是否变得愈加名利,我国爸爸妈妈成为现代化进程的受害者。孝道被以为是维系我国家庭联络的中心价值和辅导家庭日子的行为准则(Ikels, 2004; Whyte, 1997);而孝道危机则一直是许多学者调查要点。郭于华(2001)在河北村庄发现,白叟因缺少子女照料而自杀。阎云翔(Yan, 2003, 2009)的黑龙江村庄调研发现,家庭中子女的地位在进步,爸爸妈妈的威望在下降。年青一代寻求个人权力与美好,常常忽视奉养白叟职责。极点比如包含白叟遭子女咒骂、被赶出家门乃至遭到优待。他还调查到,上海有些年青人剥削爸爸妈妈的存款①,为自己置办陪嫁品和置办新房。他以为这是不道德的行为,爸爸妈妈也因为为处理子女住宅问题动用大笔存款,给晚年日子埋下危险。对孝道危机的这些研讨,突出了爸爸妈妈一代的受害者形象。这些研讨者信任,我国社会已出现个别化特征,家庭联络日趋东西化,年青人变得利己而忽视孝道,爸爸妈妈则是家庭联络改变中的受害者,被迫接受个别化进程带来的结果。可是,最近一些学者调查到,所谓的受害者形象与实际情况不相符(Thogersen & Ni, 2010; Boermel, 2006; Zhang, 2005)。在他们看来,我国爸爸妈妈的形象要活跃得多,既能够与子女坚持情感和交流(Evans, 2010),也有寻求独立自在的一面(Zhang, 2004;Logan & Bian, 1999)。例如,曹诗弟和泥安儒(Thogersen & Ni, 2010)在2001年对山东白叟做的问卷调查,以及在2004~2006年做的深度访谈发现,晚年爸爸妈妈相同寻求解放、自在和便利。晚年爸爸妈妈们既期望与子女坚持严密的情感联络,也期望有相对独立的个人日子,不受多代合住的束缚。他们以为,子女不惹爸爸妈妈气愤,尊重晚年人的主意、爱好和习气,不干涉爸爸妈妈的日子相同是子女孝顺的体现。社会地位和经济条件较好的村庄爸爸妈妈特别如此。这一研讨挑战了将爸爸妈妈视为弱势群体的单一了解。后边一种研讨提示咱们,将我国爸爸妈妈不分不同地了解为弱势受害者,会导致相关研讨会集重视村庄的赤贫白叟,疏忽了中晚年爸爸妈妈的多样性形状。在评论独生子女家庭联络以及爸爸妈妈们面对的养老危机文献中,相同因为缺少对爸爸妈妈形象多样化的了解,很少研讨重视独生子女爸爸妈妈对家庭联络和孝道的等待是否发生变化,是否选用活跃策省略应对家庭联络的改变。 上一页 1 2 3 4 5 6 …8 下一页 阅览全文

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